


The Pulse in My Throat

by Kyriadamorte



Series: If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Choking, Cunnilingus, F/M, Light Dom/sub, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Praise Kink, Woman on Top, at least kinda, kylo is awkward about sex, kylo is painfully aware that he's not as cool as he'd like to be, kylo's the sub, rey really is not, rey's the dom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 21:15:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12756342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyriadamorte/pseuds/Kyriadamorte
Summary: Her tiny thumbs press against his windpipe and her face twists into a snarl, inches from his own.He’s going to die and she’s going to kill him and he’s even less upset by this fact than he thought he would be.AKA that choking fic inspired by a tumblr shitpost





	The Pulse in My Throat

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look! I'm still here. 
> 
> This is technically the third installment in a vaguely post-TLJ speculative series. You don't need to read the first two to understand this one, but there are a few references to those that might make slightly more sense if you do. Shout-out to any returning reader - you guys have been amazing.
> 
> This fic was inspired by a post about Rey choking Kylo to orgasm so shout-out to the OP for making me write my second ever smut piece (which is definitely smuttier than the first).

 

Kylo is no stranger to nightmares.

 

They’re usually his own, though.

 

It starts in the early hours of what they’re calling the morning.He’s been drifting in and out of sleep for at least a few minutes when he gets a cold punch of terror to the gut.The emotion without the usual accompanying images and memories is odd and slightly jarring.He mentally prods at Rey as softly as he can, but is still met with a sandstorm of images and fear and rage.

 

_A clawed hand takes a swipe at his (her) face.He (she) ducks just in time, but-_

 

_He (she) is surrounded.They’re so big and it’s not fair not fair!Those parts are his (hers)!_

 

_Hands, hands, too many to count grasp at (him) her and hold him (her) in place, while the trilling probably-laughter surrounds-_

 

_Foul breath in his (her) face, “It’s skinny, but throw it in a pot and it will make a passable stew.”_

 

Kylo extricates himself from her nightmare with a gasp.Her fingernails are digging into the skin beneath his nightshirt as she clutches him to her.He swivels, turns in her arms and brushes a hand against her shoulder, trying to wake her gently.

 

In a heartbeat and a flurry of limbs, he’s on his back and her hands are gripped tightly around his neck.Her tiny thumbs press against his windpipe and her face twists into a snarl, inches from his own.He pushes at her and it should be absurdly easy to throw her off him, but it’s _not._ He feels the Force pressing down on him, making her tiny frame feel infinitely heavier.His hands are stuck to the mattress on either side of his head, immobile no matter how he struggles.He tries to center himself, to gather the necessary power to throw her offhim, but there’s a small, shameful part of him that doesn’t want to, even as his vision begins to grey at the edges.

 

She’s fucking radiant, hair mussed from sleep, eyes wide and unseeing, teeth bared in a feral growl.He’s going to die and she’s going to kill him and he’s even less upset by this fact than he thought he would be.A strange peace settles over him; it’s like he’s _floating_ and is _this_ what meditation was supposed to feel like?His left hand slips free from the Force’s grasp.He should probably use it to slap her awake, to push her free of him, _something…_ but he doesn’t.He just moves it up to her face slowly and brushes his fingers against her cheek.

 

(- _fingers calloused and covered in grime and oil._ “ _Thank you.”-)_

 

He sees realization and horror spread across her face a second before her hands fly off his neck and windmill out behind her.

 

Kylo coughs and splutters and arches off the bed slightly as oxygen rushes back to his brain and is horrified for a completely different reason.

 

“Are you?Fuck, Kylo, I-Shit, I’m _sorry._ ”

 

She pushes herself up off her hands to investigate the damage she’s done to his neck.Her weight shifts and settles more firmly over his groin and he _absolutely_ does not wriggle against her and ( _fuck fuck fuck)_ he prays she doesn’t notice how he’s grown hard beneath her.

 

She notices.

 

He can see it in the way her brows shoot up comically from deep concern to complete surprise and her mouth rounds into a ridiculous, silent, little “oh.”

 

A few weeks ago he would have snarled and attacked and accused and lashed out, hacking at her with words the same way he used to hack at electronics.The idea is still a tempting one, but he resists, clenches his jaw and shuts his eyes and turns his head away slightly.Relying on her mercy has worked out fairly well for him so far, he might as well try it again.

 

He can feel humiliation bloom and blush over his cheeks and all the way out to the tips of his ridiculously over-large ears.The silence drags out and he can hear every breath in the room - hers _and_ his. 

 

He’s about to push her off in shame and frustration when her cold fingers brush lightly against the bruised skin at his throat.He lets out a shaky breath and his eyes flutter open.

 

She’s peering down at him, down at his throat and her gaze is…odd.The shock has given way to something else, but it’s not pity, not the mockery he was still half-expecting.No, it’s more…curious, evaluating.He feels like a spare motivator, feels like she’s debating how to pick him apart and he finds he’s not entirely opposed to the idea.

 

Her eyes move from his neck to meet his and she cocks her head to the side and asks, “Do you want to have sex?”

 

If he were Han Solo, he’s sure he’d have a witty and flirty rejoinder seasoned with a smirk and he’d probably flip her over effortlessly and-

 

If he were Leia Organa, he’d have an arch and teasing comment about how blunt and uncouth and uncivilized her question was.He’d let her be flustered, let her work to persuade him and-

 

If he were Luke Skywalker, he’d be galant and tell her he wanted to wait.He’d tell her she was special and they should be more sure of their feelings for one another before embarking on a physical relationship.She’d kiss him sweetly, but chastely and then they’d part and-

 

But he isn’t; he never has been, has always been selfish and awkward and stupid so he just gulps beneath her fingers and lets out a shaking, whispering, “Yes.”

 

A beat of silence ( _shit, maybe that wasn’t what she meant-_ ).

 

“All right then,” she says, matter-of-factly, before lifting her top up and over her head in one quick motion.

 

He’s presented with Rey’s frankly unfairly wonderful chest several minutes before he was expecting to (or had really prepared for).Now _he’s_ the one whose eyes are going wide and whose mouth is doing the stupid “oh” and he feels more like Ben then than he has in a long time.

 

(- _That stubborn tilt to his mouth:_ “ _The face of my son.”-)_

 

“Well?” Rey asks and Be- _Kylo_ worries for a second that he’s missed a question while he was ogling her. 

 

“Aren’t you going to get naked?” She asks in that absurd, shameless way she has.Her feature shift slightly, as if something has occurred to her, “Or are you one of those people who likes to have sex mostly clothed?I don’t understand the appeal myself, but if it it works for-“

 

“No, no, I just-“ he sits up and she shifts again in his lap ( _fuck)_ and pulls off his night shirt.He hopes it looks a lot more graceful and attractive than it feels.

 

She traces him slowly and curiously with her hands.When the tips of her fingers caress the scars she’d given him on his shoulders, he sucks in a breath through his teeth and tentatively places a hand on her thigh, pulling her tighter against him.Her eyes darken and there’s a slight smirk and that’s all the warning he gets before her head darts forward and she’s kissing him.

 

His nose gets in the way a bit at first (of fucking _course),_ but they shift slightly and then, _oh,_ she’s sucking on his lower lip and running her tongue against it.He’s doing a pretty good job of keeping up, but this is _Rey_ and he needs to do more than just keep up so he moves a hand (not shaking _too_ much, he hopes) up her nipple and runs his thumb over it, back and forth, grinning slightly to himself as it pebbles beneath his touch.She hums into his mouth and rocks against him and he bucks up to meet her.

 

It feels so good.Too good.

 

He’s thought about this, _of course_ he’s thought about this, but it was always as an unobtainable fantasy, something he’d let himself indulge in, safe in the knowledge that it would _never_ happen. Except now that it _is_ happening, he’s terrified he’s going to fuck it up, that he’s gonna come in his pants like a fucking teenager and disappoint her and-

 

He’s got to find a way to take control of the situation.

 

He flips her over and _thank gods_ that it ends up looking as cool as he’d hoped it would.Her head bounces against the pillows and she smiles up at him.He smiles back -a small, shy thing that only feels a little strange on his face - before kissing her neck, her collarbones, down her sternum before sucking one of her nipples into his mouth.

 

“Yesss,” she hisses, winding one of her hands into his hair and arching up against him.She gives it a quick tug and, _shit,_ the sensation shoots straight down his spine.He whimpers, but the sound is muffled up against her chest (thank gods) and it’s not really _so_ bad because she’s making these little humming moans that should sound silly, but really don’t.

 

“Now the other one,” she says, her voice a crisp (if somewhat breathless) command.

 

Kylo obeys instantly.He tries not to think too hard about how wonderful it feels to have orders to follow again.

 

He wonders if she senses this because a minute later she says, “Lower,” while pushing on the top of his head.

 

He has a feeling she doesn’t just mean her stomach, but he makes sure to give that attention as well as he makes his way down.He kisses and nips as much of her belly as he can and he thinks she feels more solid beneath his hands than she was before.A small part of him attributes that to the food he’s been making her and purrs.

 

He gets to her underwear and uses the Force to lift her hips off the bed so he can peel them off her with both hands, dragging the tips of his nails against her as he does so.She lets out a breathy laugh and Kylo’s quite ready to be offended at her mocking him when she breathes out, “Well, that’s one way to use the Force.Clever boy.”

 

Kylo’s not really sure how he doesn’t come right then and there.

 

Now she’s bare before him, legs splayed beautifully and shamelessly, but (as always) it’s Kylo who feels scared and vulnerable and exposed.He just stares for a while, slightly dumbstruck.He knows, in theory, what he should do, but…what if he’s horrible at it?

 

He starts kissing her gently up her right thigh - partially to give himself time and partially so he’s not just lying there on his belly, staring at her like an idiot.

 

He could look, could know for certain what she wanted…but she always ends up just as much in his head as he in hers.He’s not sure he’s ready for that.Not when they’re like this, anyway.

 

She saves him from himself, though (of _course_ she does) before he can get too worked up about it.

 

“Start down and a little to the right.”

 

The tension in his shoulders eases as he rushes to obey.

 

She threads her fingers into his hair again, tugging him up and down and left and right.Her grip is a sturdy, wonderful anchor, tethering him to the moment.She’s started bucking her hips slightly against his mouth and making little grunting noises.

 

“Now suck,” she commands. “Hard and fast.”

 

He does.

 

She starts swearing in a language he doesn’t recognize, pushing him firmly against her.He flutters his tongue against the tip of her and continues to suck as hard and fast as he can.His initiative is immediately rewarded.Her stream of curses just devolves into his name, over and over again, like some sort of religious chant.

 

“Kylo, Kylo, _Kylo,_ fuck _KyloKylo-“_

 

She arches up against him as she comes and it’s _glorious._ The flush of success has him grinning against her thigh when she finally comes down in a boneless heap on the bed.She strokes his head idly and he feels a bit like a pet, but he doesn’t really mind.

 

“What about you?” she asks after a while.

 

“Hmm?”

 

She laughs fondly.“What do you like?”

 

Oh.Right.That.

 

The erection he’d manage to (mostly) ignore now has his attention again in full force.

 

“Umm,” he says, intelligently. 

 

He’s not quite sure what to say. _‘You’_ sounds sentimental and ridiculous, even though it’s true.‘ _Hurt me’_ makes him sound unhinged and he really doesn’t need any help in that area.

 

“On my back,” he says and it only sounds a little bit like a question.

 

He peeks up at her and she’s smiling down at him, tongue between her teeth, “That works.”

 

He rolls onto his back and shimmies out of his pants.It’s a lot less graceful than when he’d removed hers.

 

She straddles him, hot and wet along the length of him.

 

He tries to comfort himself in the knowledge that, even if he comes quickly, he _did_ manage to bring her to orgasm first.

 

She kisses him, slow and soft, while she grinds against him.

 

Kylo’s not really in the mood for slow and soft.

 

He grabs her by the hips and deepens the kiss and soon it’s a frantic flurry of lips and teeth and tongue.Then she lifts herself up and onto him and she’s so slick that she goes all the way down to the hilt of him in one fluid movement.Her head has lolled back and her eyes are unfocused and her mouth is a bit open and _fuck fuck fuck-_

 

He holds her in place, desperately, willing her not to move even a little bit.He doesn’t know if she senses it or _senses_ it, but she seems to get the message.When it feels like he’s not about to immediately embarrass himself, he makes a small thrust up against her.She starts to move against him, bracing her hands on either side of his head.There’s a bit of awkwardness at first, but they soon settle into a rhythm that’s got Kylo clutching at her thighs and biting his lip.

 

Her eyes scan his face and then drift down to his neck.She must like what she sees because she slows slightly and her eyes glow with something warm and simmering and her fingers brush lightly against the sensitive skin on his neck.

 

It’s a question.

 

He bares his throat in answer.

 

Her hands close around his neck and squeeze and she starts to ride him faster and faster.The pressure isn’t as much as before; he can still take in a trickle of air, but it’s enough and he can feel his orgasm rushing towards him.

 

“Wow, you’re pretty like this,” she says before kissing him and blocking the last bit of air.

 

He comes instantly, so hard he bites her lip and tastes blood.

 

He’s still gasping and trembling as he (finally) comes down and she slips off him.She hooks her leg over his and nibbles at his shoulder.

 

“That was lovely,” she says into his skin. Then: “Give me your hand.”

 

He doesn’t question before offering it to her.

 

She slips his fingers inside her and he’s proud that he doesn’t need her to say anything before he’s moving them in and out and rubbing his thumb against her.She thrusts her hips back against him and, after a few minutes, she bites his shoulder as she comes again.The sting of pain and the noises she makes and the sensation of her squeezing his fingers where they’re still buried inside her has his flaccid penis making a valiant twitch against his thigh.

 

She burrows her nose into the crook of his neck and is back asleep in under a minute.

 

Kylo lies awake and tries to catch his breath.

 


End file.
